WE LOVE WEED
Obviously marijuana is one of our best friends. It helps us relieve anxiety, boost creativity, relax, sleep, eat, and simply have more fun in life. Just the sight of it makes us giddy. The smell of it is heavenly. We are always looking forward to our next high. And no matter how many times we smoke, we never get sick of it. We’ll also go to the end of the earth to find it. That’s true love.
WE LIKE EACH OTHER
We forgive and forget differences when we share a love of weed. We mingle. We listen. We speak rationally. We get to know people with much different beliefs and views than our own because we have something key in common. We don’t judge. No stoner can be that bad, right? This opens us up to new friends and experiences which is a beautiful thing.
WE GET BAKED BEFORE MOVIES
We don’t understand the concept of seeing movies sober. That’s just silly. This is a tradition that’s not going away anytime soon. You’ll find us in the concession line desperately trying to decide between Skittles and Sour Patch Kids. Being high enhances the experience, whether it’s a 3D action flick or a quirky comedy. I personally go full edible for movies I’m really excited about. The high kicks in shortly after the movie starts. Nothing better.
WE PREFER TO SMOKE BEFORE MEALS
This can be a tricky one when you are surrounded by non-smokers. Boo! Stoners all know that the meal they are about to enjoy is going to taste so much better if they can hit the pipe a few times first. Headed to Chipotle? In my household, we know what comes first. Some of us take it further, getting high before a coffee or a small snack. I think we can all agree that everything is just better when you’re stoned and food is at the top of the list.
WE ARE MELLOW
We are more relaxed than the average bear. Less of the bullshit is going to get to us. If there is a delay, we aren’t upset and uptight. If the car doesn’t start, it won’t ruin our entire day. If our order comes out wrong, we know exactly how to handle it without making a scene. Better yet, we are more open to spontaneous fun and trying new things. Life is too short to be angry all the time and nobody knows that better than stoners.
WE DON’T TRY TOO HARD
We are often low maintenance. This seems to be especially true of the stoner ladies. We don’t spend hours grooming and dressing ourselves like other women. We don’t pile on the makeup and cover up who we really are. For the most part, we just want to be comfortable. This is not to say that we don’t have style. Of course we do! I think this speaks to the level of confidence we have in ourselves which is such a beautiful thing.
WE GET SHIT DONE
For some reason non-smokers tend to think we sit around all day and watch TV drooling. Nothing could be further from the truth. We get up, get ready, go to work and pay our bills. The same way everyone else does. We don’t slack on our responsibilities just because we enjoy getting high. In our circles, things actually get done because of weed. New ideas are brought to life. A socially awkward person can open up and face a fear. I feel good about saying that we are not lazy, and may in fact be overachievers in disguise.
WE ARE ANIMAL LOVERS
It seems that a lot of us have pets. Multiple pets. Cats, dogs, rabbits, ferrets, snakes, lizards, turtles. It’s a common theme. We are a compassionate bunch, and tend to rescue animals in need. We stand up against animal abuse. We know that all animals are innocent creatures and we are happy to love and take care of as many as possible.
WE LOSE LIGHTERS, A LOT
It’s true of myself and every stoner I know. You had three lighters earlier, committed to keeping them in one spot. It’s officially time to spark the joint and they are nowhere to be found. You frantically look everywhere. It’s the hunt of a lifetime. Each time we tell ourselves it’s the last time, but somehow the hunt continues. I suppose it’s an unexplainable mystery much like socks going missing from the dryer. What can you do? Buy 4-packs and hope for the best.
WE HAVE A FAVORITE SMOKING METHOD
While vape pens seem to be taking over the world, I still prefer a joint. I roll them up, carry them around, give them to people on their birthdays. I love smoking them with friends, and enjoy smoking them alone just as much. We all have our favorite way to smoke. Bongs, pipes, it’s all fun! Or perhaps you don’t even smoke. If you dive into the edible pool, and that’s all you need, more power to you. I’m willing to try your way, if you are occasionally willing to try mine.
I think this list proves it; we are downright exceptional people. We are accepting, confident, love animals, and know how to let go and have a good time. Let’s get high to that.