Stoners say yes to tasty treats. Let’s explore those extra special foods that can enhance your high, and make it last longer. You are one step closer to being the best stoner you can be.
It’s no accident that most edibles are chocolate based. Dark chocolate contains serotonin and tryptophan which promotes happiness naturally. For extreme bliss, make your next batch of edibles with cocoa of 70 – 85% for the most benefits.
Mangoes are downright delicious. As it turns out they can fast track your high, as well as extend it. Yes please! Because they contain a terpene called myrcene, they have something in common with cannabis. Try eating a mango (or smoothie) an hour before you get high. It will have prepared your cannabinoid receptors so you are ready for lift off.
This already healthy snack is about to get more appealing. Nuts contain omega-3 fatty acid. This healthy fat binds to cannabinoids which help get them travel through your system faster. Go for walnuts as they pack the highest punch of omega-3.
If there was ever was a reason to eat your vegetables, this is it! Broccoli contains high levels of another terpene called beta-caryophyllene. It will bind to CB2 receptors in the same way cannabinoids do. This can reduce inflammation and relieve pain, allowing you to go fully mellow.
Green and black tea contain catechin, an antioxidant that binds to your CB1 and CB2 receptors. This can help you chill out and better enjoy your high. It could help you curb those munchies too.
Coconut oil contains way more saturated fat than butter. This makes it the perfect base for your edibles. In the same amount of simmering time, the coconut oil will be more potent than butter. Not to mention that it’s got a bundle of health benefits and is versatile for cooking or baking.
-Thanks for reading. Let me know in comments if I missed any foods that pair with cannabis well.
Obviously marijuana is one of our best friends. It helps us relieve anxiety, boost creativity, relax, sleep, eat, and simply have more fun in life. Just the sight of it makes us giddy. The smell of it is heavenly. We are always looking forward to our next high. And no matter how many times we smoke, we never get sick of it. We’ll also go to the end of the earth to find it. That’s true love.
WE LIKE EACH OTHER
We forgive and forget differences when we share a love of weed. We mingle. We listen. We speak rationally. We get to know people with much different beliefs and views than our own because we have something key in common. We don’t judge. No stoner can be that bad, right? This opens us up to new friends and experiences which is a beautiful thing.
WE GET BAKED BEFORE MOVIES
We don’t understand the concept of seeing movies sober. That’s just silly. This is a tradition that’s not going away anytime soon. You’ll find us in the concession line desperately trying to decide between Skittles and Sour Patch Kids. Being high enhances the experience, whether it’s a 3D action flick or a quirky comedy. I personally go full edible for movies I’m really excited about. The high kicks in shortly after the movie starts. Nothing better.
WE PREFER TO SMOKE BEFORE MEALS
This can be a tricky one when you are surrounded by non-smokers. Boo! Stoners all know that the meal they are about to enjoy is going to taste so much better if they can hit the pipe a few times first. Headed to Chipotle? In my household, we know what comes first. Some of us take it further, getting high before a coffee or a small snack. I think we can all agree that everything is just better when you’re stoned and food is at the top of the list.
WE ARE MELLOW
We are more relaxed than the average bear. Less of the bullshit is going to get to us. If there is a delay, we aren’t upset and uptight. If the car doesn’t start, it won’t ruin our entire day. If our order comes out wrong, we know exactly how to handle it without making a scene. Better yet, we are more open to spontaneous fun and trying new things. Life is too short to be angry all the time and nobody knows that better than stoners.
WE DON’T TRY TOO HARD
We are often low maintenance. This seems to be especially true of the stoner ladies. We don’t spend hours grooming and dressing ourselves like other women. We don’t pile on the makeup and cover up who we really are. For the most part, we just want to be comfortable. This is not to say that we don’t have style. Of course we do! I think this speaks to the level of confidence we have in ourselves which is such a beautiful thing.
WE GET SHIT DONE
For some reason non-smokers tend to think we sit around all day and watch TV drooling. Nothing could be further from the truth. We get up, get ready, go to work and pay our bills. The same way everyone else does. We don’t slack on our responsibilities just because we enjoy getting high. In our circles, things actually get done because of weed. New ideas are brought to life. A socially awkward person can open up and face a fear. I feel good about saying that we are not lazy, and may in fact be overachievers in disguise.
WE ARE ANIMAL LOVERS
It seems that a lot of us have pets. Multiple pets. Cats, dogs, rabbits, ferrets, snakes, lizards, turtles. It’s a common theme. We are a compassionate bunch, and tend to rescue animals in need. We stand up against animal abuse. We know that all animals are innocent creatures and we are happy to love and take care of as many as possible.
WE LOSE LIGHTERS, A LOT
It’s true of myself and every stoner I know. You had three lighters earlier, committed to keeping them in one spot. It’s officially time to spark the joint and they are nowhere to be found. You frantically look everywhere. It’s the hunt of a lifetime. Each time we tell ourselves it’s the last time, but somehow the hunt continues. I suppose it’s an unexplainable mystery much like socks going missing from the dryer. What can you do? Buy 4-packs and hope for the best.
WE HAVE A FAVORITE SMOKING METHOD
While vape pens seem to be taking over the world, I still prefer a joint. I roll them up, carry them around, give them to people on their birthdays. I love smoking them with friends, and enjoy smoking them alone just as much. We all have our favorite way to smoke. Bongs, pipes, it’s all fun! Or perhaps you don’t even smoke. If you dive into the edible pool, and that’s all you need, more power to you. I’m willing to try your way, if you are occasionally willing to try mine.
I think this list proves it; we are downright exceptional people. We are accepting, confident, love animals, and know how to let go and have a good time. Let’s get high to that.
Because stoners have more fun! Whether you are just visiting or live in Portland, I’ve got eight places you need to go to while stoned;
Green Mart Dispensary- First things first. Weed. This lovely dispensary is located in Beaverton (not far from downtown) and is a dream come true. Their selection is fantastic. Their staff is the best. You can’t go wrong. If you are looking for an affordable edible, ask for the sea salt caramel. They also have cheap pre-rolls in 4 packs.
OMSI- The Oregon Museum of Science & Industry. Most people think this is a place for kids. Wrong. You can certainly go through the museum but the real fun comes later in the evening with their OmniMax movies and laser light shows. The starry nights show in the planetarium is amazing. Or if you are into Pink Floyd, there is a laser light show to The Dark Side of the Moon on Friday and Saturday nights. EPIC! You’ll find yourself amongst friends.
Kennedy School McMenamins- This is my happy place. It’s an old elementary school converted into a unique hotel, bar, and theatre. They also have a soaking pool and a little gift shop. The walls are lined with bizarre art and the ceilings are full of eclectic lamps. They have several restaurants and bars to choose from. Some are small and intimate, others are busy and full of life. There is a beautiful outdoor courtyard lined with twinkle lights. If you are into beer, this is your place. Be sure to try the cajun tater tots. You can also catch a movie at the funky theatre, where you can drink and eat inside. Heaven on earth.
Oaks Amusement Park- If you are traveling in a group, this would be a fun adventure. It’s a older amusement park that still holds a lot of charm. Rides, slides, carnival games, miniature golf, and you can even go roller skating. Their is a place to picnic with food and drink available. The area is beautiful, right along the Willamette River. Don’t forget a snow cone!
Beyond Bizarre Ghost Tours- If you are at all interested (or curious) about paranormal activity, this is your jam. I had a friend drag me along to this and secretly loved every spooky second. It’s a walking tour so it’s very relaxed. The highlight is when you go underground and use professional equipment to locate a known ghost of the area. A lot of fun to be had. Be sure to book ahead online.
Food Carts- Every city has food carts, but we have a whole block downtown. If you love to eat, this is where you need to be. Walk around first to scope out all the different cuisines and then everyone in your group can eat what they want. They have tables on the sidewalks, but its fun to head across the street to Pioneer Courthouse square and people watch while eating.
Glowing Greens Miniature Golf- This is an indoor blacklight, 3D, animated, miniature golf course. It takes about an hour to walk through the pirate themed mayhem. There are two locations; Beaverton & Portland. They also have arcade games so bring quarters!
Portland Spirit River Cruise- So. Much. Fun. This one is on the spendy side but it’s so worth it. They have a few different types of river cruises available. I’ve done the dinner cruise several times now. You have a three course meal on a gorgeous boat, then head up on the deck to enjoy the sights. It made me feel like a stoner princess. They also have a lunch, brunch, and sightseeing cruises. If you are really adventurous, there is a jetboat ride that I’ve been told is a blast in the summer.
Because everyone wants to be the best stoner they can be, right? I was sixteen the first time I got stoned. A friend and I smoked out of a makeshift Dr. Pepper can and it was heavenly. I took a few hits at best. We laughed, ate cookies, and then watched Oprah. Rebels in the making. My anxieties were gone and the world was a little brighter. Since then, I have smoked nearly every day because it simply makes life more fun. Over the years, the options on how to get high have increased exponentially. No more soda cans or carved out apples. I’m also lucky to live in Oregon where it’s legal for recreational sale and use. Needless to say, I am one happy stoner chick. Here are a few ways to take it to a new level;
Vaporizing: This has been around a while and trust me I’ve explored all the options. The EZ Vape, PAX, and multiple pens. My favorite is the Volcano. You’ve all heard of it, and few can afford it. I have never owned one but I’ve used friends. This is a melt in the couch experience. You shred the herb, put it inside, then hook the device up to a plastic bag that inflates with vapor. This is an intense high. Personally, I was stoned for hours and loved every second. Perfect for kicking back and watching movies, or hanging with friends. If you have the money to spare, or win the lotto, don’t hesitate to treat yourself! Then invite me over please.
Edibles: I have eaten many edibles over the years. I still get excited every time I eat weed. This is my go to for work, or family functions. I occasionally buy them at dispensaries but there is nothing more satisfying than making your own. It’s cheaper too! I have learned through trial and error the best way to make cookies, muffins, or whatever your little stoner heart desires, is coconut oil. Put in equal amounts coconut oil to shredded herb in a crockpot for at least 6 hours. I prefer the low setting to avoid burning. You simply stir it a few times while its cooking and strain the oil through cheesecloth when you are done. A few layers of cheesecloth will keep all the herb out. The oil should be bright green. Then store it in a mason jar in the fridge until you cook or bake with it. Word of advice- Always test your edibles for potency before sharing them with anyone. Second word of advice- the crockpot method will make your place smell like a marijuana grow house.
Dabbing: Holy crapola! This is a fun one. Not something I would do daily as it’s a lot of work. You basically vaporize wax concentrate (torch heated) and inhale the vapors from a rig. The rig is similar to an old school water bong. There are tons of great videos on YouTube if you are beginner. Beginners should be cautious as this high is fierce. You will cough, you may cry, and you will trip hard. Yes please!
Wake N’ Bake: My favorite. For those who have not smoked right after waking up in the morning, know that you are truly missing out. On your next day off, smoke first. Coffee second. For some reason this is always the best high of the day. We’re all groggy when we first wake up. Or at least I am. Getting baked amplifies that hazy feeling. Depending on what strain you smoke, this could make you lazy or it could give you energy. And the good news is, this applies to naps as well.
ABV: Already. Been. Vaped. If you vaporize often, you know you end up with used brown weed. Instead of throwing it out, try saving it in a jar. I promise it has not lost all of it’s potential. You can use it for making coconut oil. Or butter, if you prefer. I tried olive oil once and it worked well. It won’t be as potent as using shredded fresh flower but they will get you high. The oil/butter will obviously be darker green (almost brown) with this method.